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Aj McCloud

Happy Father's Day...

 

>Here I am in the 90's with my dad, sons and brother.

COMPLETE THE FATHER-ISMS:
YOU THINK YOU HAD IT TOUGH, WHEN I WAS A KID…(WALK TO SCHOOL)
YOU DON’T A BB GUN, YOU’LL…(SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT)
YOUR NOT HURT, GET UP AND…(WALK IT OFF)
YOU DON’T KNOW THE VALUE OF A (DOLLAR)
KEEP YOU EYE ON THE…(BALL)
PUT THAT STICK DOWN BEFORE…(HURT SOMEONE, POKE AN EYE OUT)
IF YOU KEEP MAKING THAT FACE…(IT’LL STAY THAT WAY)
QUIT PLAYING WITH THAT OR YOU’LL…(TEAR IT UP)
SHUT THE DOOR…(NOT HEATING/AIR CONDITIONING, OWN ELECTRIC CO.)


THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR DAD SAY:
CAN’T FINISH YOUR VEGGIES, GO AHEAD THROW THEM AWAY
HERE, YOU TAKE THE REMOTE
GO AHEAD, TAKE MY CAR AND HERE’S MONEY FOR GAS
I’M LOST, GUESS I’LL HAVE TO STOP FOR DIRECTIONS
SWEETIE, YOU’RE 13 AND READY FOR UNCHAPERONED CAR DATES
HERE SON, TAKE MY CREDIT CARD AND GO CRAZY
I’VE NOTICED YOUR FRIENDS WEAR BLACK AND HAVE PIERCINGS, COOL
PLAY FOOTBALL, ISN’T FIGURE SKATING GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
YOU MOM AND I ARE GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND, HAVE A PARTY
WHY GET A JOB, I MAKE PLENTY FOR BOTH OF US
SON, YOU NEED AN EAR RING, NOW LET’S GO TO THE MALL


DAD THROUGH THE YEARS
4 YEARS-OLD: MY DADDY CAN DO ANYTHING
6 YEARS-OLD: MY DADDY IS SMARTER THAN YOUR DAD
8 YEARS-OLD: MY DAD DOESN’T EXACTLY KNOW EVERYTHING
10 YEARS-OLD: IN THE OLD DAYS WHEN MY DAD GREW UP, THINGS WERE DIFFERENT
12 YEARS-OLD: NATURALLY, DAD DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT, HE’S TOO OLD TO REMEMBER HIS CHILDHOOD
14 YEARS-OLD: DON’T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO DAD, HE’S OLD-FASHIONED
21 YEARS-OLD: DAD, HE’S HELPLESSLY OUT OF DATE
25 YEARS-OLD: DAD KNOWS A LITTLE ABOUT THAT, HE SHOULD SINCE HE’S BEEN AROUND SO LONG
30 YEARS-OLD: MAYBE WE SHOULD ASK DAD, AFTER ALL, HE’S GOT EXPERIENCE
35 YEARS-OLD: I’M NOT ANYTHING UNTIL I TALK TO DAD
40 YEARS-OLD: WONDER HOW DAD WOULD’VE HANDLED IT, HE WAS SO WISE AND HAS A WORLD OF EXPERIENCE
50 YEARS-OLD: I’D GIVE ANYTHING IF DAD WERE HERE TO TALK THIS OVER, TOO BAD I DIDN’T APPRECIATE HOW SMART HE WAS AND LEARNED FROM HIM


DADDY’S BOY:
WITH A TIMID VOICE AND IDOLIZING EYES
THE LITTLE BOY GREETED HIS FATHER AS HE RETURNED FROM WORK.
“DADDY, HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE AN HOUR?”
SURPRISED, AND GIVING HIS BOY A GLARING LOOK,
HE SAID, “NOT EVEN YOUR MOTHER KNOWS THAT.
GO ON AND PLAY NOW, I’M TIRED.”

“BUT, DAD, JUST TELL ME PLEASE, HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE IN ONE HOUR?”
THE FATHER FINALLY GAVE IN AND REPLIED, “I MAKE $20 AN HOUR.”
AFTER A BRIEF PAUSE, THE BOY ASKED, “CAN I HAVE $10?”
SHOWING HIS ANNOYANCE, THE FATHER SNAPPED BACK,
“SO THAT’S WHY YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH I EARN, YOU JUST WANT MONEY,
WELL IT’S GETTING DARK SO GET READY FOR BED.”

LATER, THE FATHER WAS FEELING GUILTY AND THOUGHT HIS SON MAY REAALY
NEED MONEY FOR SOMETHING.
SO TO EASE HIS MIND, HE WENT TO HIS SON’S ROOM AND GAVE HIM $10.
“THANKS DAD!” THE BOY REJOICED AS HE PUT THE MONEY IN HIS HAND
AND ALSO REMOVED ANOTHER $10 FROM UNDER HIS PILLOW.
“NOW I HAVE ENOUGH! NOW I HAVE $20!” THE BOY SAID TO HIS FATHER.
“HERE YOU GO DAD, HERE’S MY $20, NOW WILL YOU SPEND ONE HOUR WITH ME?”


HIS EXAMPLE:
THERE ARE LITTLE EYES UPON YOU, THEY’RE WATCHING DAY AND NIGHT;
THERE ARE LITTLE EARS THAT QUICKLY TAKE IN EVERY WORD YOU SAY;
THERE ARE LITTLE HANDS ALL EAGER TO DO EVERYTHING YOU DO,
AND A LITTLE BOY WHO’S DREAMING OF THE DAY HE’LL BE LIKE YOU.

YOU’RE THE FELLOW’S IDOL, YOU’RE THE WISEST OF THE WISE;
IN HIS LITTLE MIND, ABOUT YOU NO SUSPICIONS EVER RISE.
HE BELIEVES IN YOU DEVOUTLY, HOLDS THAT ALL YOU SAY AND DO,
HE WILL SAY AND DO IN YOUR WAY WHEN HE’S GROWN LIKE YOU.

THERE’S A WIDE-EYED LITTLE FELLOW WHO BELIEVES YOU’RE ALWAYS RIGHT;
AND HIS EARS ARE ALWAYS OPEN, AND HE WATCHES EVERY DAY AND NIGHT;
YOU’RE SETTING AN EXAMPLE EVERY DAY IN ALL YOU DO,
FOR THE LITTLE BOY WHO’S WAITING TO GROW UP TO BE LIKE YOU.


WHEN GOD CREATED FATHER …..HE STARED WITH A TALL FRAME.
A FEMALE ANGEL SAID, “WHAT KIND OF FATHER IS THAT?   IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE CHILDREN SO CLOSE TO THE GROUND, WHY HAVE YOU PUT THE FATHER UP SO HIGH?”
“HE WON’T BE ABLE TO SHOOT MARBLES WITHOUT KNEELING, TUCK A CHILD INTO BED WITHOUT BENDING, OR EVEN KISS A CHILD WITHOUT STOOPING.”
GOD SMILED AND SAID, “YES, BUT IF I MAKE HIM CHILD-SIZE, WHO WOULD THEY HAVE TO LOOK UP TO?”
THE GOD MADE THE FATHER’S HANDS, THEY WERE VERY LARGE.
THE ANGEL SHOOK HER HEAD AND SAID, “LARGE HANDS ARE CLUMSY AND THEY CAN’T MANAGE DIAPER PINS, SMALL BUTTONS, RUBBER BANDS ON PONY TAILS OR EVEN TAKE OUT SPLINTERS.”
GOD SMILED AND SAID, “BUT THEY’RE LARGE ENOUGH TO HOLD EVERYTHING A SMALL BOY EMPTIES OUT OF HIS POCKETS, AND YET SMALL ENOUGH TO CUP A CHILD’S FACE IN HIS HANDS.”
THEN GOD MOLDED LONG, SLIM LEGS AND BROAD SHOULDERS.
THE ANGEL NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK, “YOU MADE A FATHER WITHOUT A LAP!”
HOW IS HE GOING TO PULL A CHILD CLKOSE TO HIM WITHOUT THE CHILD FALLING THROUGH HIS LEGS?”
GOD SMILED AGAIN AND SAID, “A MOTHER NEEDS A LAP.  A FATHER NEEDS STRONG SHOULDERS TO PULL A SLED, TO BALANCE A BOY ON A BIKE, AND TO HOLD A SLEEPY HEAD ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE CIRCUS.”
GOD WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF CREATING 2 LARGE FEET WHEN THE ANGEL COULDN’T CONTAIN ANY LONGER, “THOSE FEET ARE TOO BIG!”
GOD SMILED AND RESPONDED, “THEY’LL WORK, YOU’LL SEE.   REMEMBER, THESE SHOES MUST BE A CHALLENGE TO FILL.”
GOD WORKED THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT GIVING THE FATHER FEW WORDS, BUT A FIRM AND AUTHORITATIVE VOICE, EYES THAT SEE EVERYTHING, BUT REMAINDED CALM AND TOLERANT.
FINALLY, AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT, HE ADDED TEARS.
THEN GOD TURNED TO THE ANGEL AND SAID, “NOW ARE YOU SATISIFIED THAT HE CAN LOVE AS MUCH AS A MOTHER?”
AND THE ANGEL SHUTTETH UP!

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