"When you're here....you're here"
This script, written by a bot after watching hours of Olive Garden commercials, is about the funniest thing I've ever read.
The full script is posted below the tweet.
INT. OLIVE GARDEN RESTAURANT
A group of FRIENDS laughs at a dinner table. A WAITRESS comes to deliver what could be considered food.
WAITRESS
Pasta nachos for you.
We see the pasta nachos, they're warm and defeated.
FRIEND 1
The menu is here.
WAITRESS
Lasagna wings with extra Italy.
We see the lasagna wings. There's more Italy than necessary.
FRIEND 2
I shall eat Italian citizens.
WAITRESS
Unlimited stick.
We see the unlimited stick. It is infinite. It is all.
FRIEND 3
Leave without me. I'm home.
WAITRESS
Gluten classico. From the kitchen.
We the gluten classico. We believe the waitress that it is from the kitchen. We have no reason not to believe.
Friend 4 says nothing.
FRIEND 1
What is wrong, Friend 4?
Friend 4 says nothing.
FRIEND 2
Friend 4, what is wrong, Friend 4?
Friend 4 smiles wide. Her mouth is full of secret soup.
ANNOUNCER
(wet voice)
Olive Garden. When you're here,
You're here.